Can Friendships Grow Apart? Lessons from Jane Eyre and Helen Burns.
Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre is a timeless tale of resilience and self-discovery. But within its pages lies a quieter story – the complex friendship between Jane and Helen Burns, a bond that ultimately confronts the challenging reality of growing apart. At Lowood, a harsh and loveless institution, Jane finds solace in Helen, a girl of quiet strength and unwavering faith. Helen embodies a Christ-like passivity, enduring cruelty with stoicism and turning the other cheek. Jane, initially bewildered by this approach, is nevertheless drawn to Helen's unwavering kindness. We see this in a pivotal scene:
"'Let me be hungry, let me be cold, let me be wrongfully treated,' [Helen] whispered; 'and still I will pray for those who mis-use me.'" (Chapter 4)
Helen becomes a moral compass for Jane, teaching her the power of forgiveness and the importance of inner strength. However, their approaches to adversity begin to diverge. Jane, a fiery spirit, struggles to reconcile with Helen's passivity. This tension surfaces when Miss Reed, Jane's cruel aunt, arrives to punish her for a fabricated incident. Jane explodes in righteous anger, while Helen maintains her composure.
The turning point comes when Mr. Brocklehurst, the tyrannical headmaster, publicly humiliates Helen. Jane, witnessing the injustice, feels a surge of rebellion.
"‘I would not have submitted to such treatment; I would have struggled against it to the last,’ I said." (Chapter 7)
Helen, however, remains steadfast in her belief in suffering in silence. This fundamental difference in philosophies creates a rift between them. Jane craves a friend who will fight alongside her, while Helen offers solace and acceptance.
Their paths truly diverge when Jane is offered a chance to escape Lowood. Helen, convinced Lowood is God's will for them, urges Jane to stay. Here, the limitations of their friendship become clear.
"'Jane, you should not leave this place. You have much to learn – your reliance on human aid is weak. You should lean on God.'" (Chapter 8)
While Jane respects Helen's convictions, she cannot deny her own yearning for a different life. Leaving Lowood marks the end of their physical connection, but Jane carries Helen's lessons with her.
Theirs is not a story of bitter estrangement, but of a friendship that reached its natural conclusion. Jane and Helen represent different paths of navigating hardship – one through acceptance, the other through rebellion. Their inability to fully reconcile these differences highlights the complex nature of outgrowing friendships.
Though their paths diverged, Jane never forgets Helen's kindness. Later, she learns of Helen's untimely demise, a stark reminder of the impermanence of even the strongest bonds.
Jane Eyre's friendship with Helen Burns teaches us that growing apart from friends is not always a betrayal, but sometimes a necessary step in individual growth. It is a poignant reminder to cherish friendships for what they are, while acknowledging that sometimes, the most graceful ending is simply letting go.